July 21, 2014

Leave Your Swagger At Home


by Tasha Shadden, Guest Commentator

In this day and age, men have somehow ingrained it in their minds that if they simply buy a woman a shot at a bar he's simultaneously purchased a one-way ticket home with her. News flash, the world doesn't work that way.

Truth is the only thing you are entitled to if you buy a woman a beverage is a "Thank You". You aren't entitled to a dance, a conversation, or realistically, her name. I'm not saying you can't use a nice gesture like buying her a drink to open the door to a conversation, but you need to erase it from your mind that the door is also open to her bedroom. Yes, sometimes women do go home with men after enough drinks are bought, but that is generally the exception not the rule.

"Nearly every girl you approach, providing she has not consumed enough alcohol fail a field sobriety test, will immediately sense if you have genuine interest in her or not."
You need to change your mind set when you are prowling the bar and throwing free drinks toward every attractive woman you see. If you are sick of wasting money and "getting nothing in return", stop buying women drinks! Most of us are perfectly able and willing to provide ourselves with alcohol, as we generally don't tend to enjoy feeling like we are being bought in return for that free beer. Try a different route. It is called being a gentleman. Try it and see where it gets you; you might just be surprised.

There are many ways to improve your odds of actually meeting a wonderful girl at a bar and holding her interest in you for more than a night. The first tip is to find a girl you are realistically attracted to beyond her physical appearance.

Stop going after the bombshells with sky-high stilettos in a mini dress three sizes too small wearing more make-up than a circus clown. These girls may satisfy your needs for a night, but in the long run you are just wasting your time.

Nearly every girl you approach, providing she has not consumed enough alcohol fail a field sobriety test, will immediately sense if you have genuine interest in her or not. If you are sincere about getting to know her, she will be able to tell and will be more willing to have a conversation with you. The quickest way to get shut down is to radiate the vibe that you are just looking for any girl to bring home. I can tell. She can tell before the first two words spill pass beer moistened lips.

The second tip is to be yourself! Do no not swagger over with false bravado and drop some disgusting pick-up line that is dripping with sexual innuendo.

I have no idea when guys got the idea that this tactic was a good one, but I can personally attest to the fact that it isn't. It doesn't work. On the other hand, a cute, cheesy pick-up line with the sole purpose of making the target of your affection to laugh will get you a lot farther than any crude sex laced joke. Nothing makes a woman more uncomfortable than a strange man making lewd comments. The key to success is building up a comfortable rapport.

My final tip for you guys who have made it this far reading my column is use genuine compliments.

Do not, I repeat do not walk to a woman and tell her that she looks sexy. The word "sexy" is made up in large part of the word "SEX" and will absolutely, without a doubt, clue the woman across from you that your one track mind is complimenting her to just to get laid. Stick to compliments that are sincere and that you truly mean.

If you think her blouse or dress looks nice, tell her so. In case you weren't listening above, resist the urge to follow up with how nice it would look on the floor next to your bed. You will ruin the moment. If she is wearing jewelry that you find interesting, tell her that! Ask here where it came from. If she has pretty eyes or a gorgeous smile, tell her that! Sincere compliments win every time.

Being honest and genuine is the quickest way to get the girl to relax and let her guard down. You need more game than a Natty Light or a Jell-O shot to catch the good ones. Believe me when I say you will have much better luck finding a woman and keeping her attention with compliments and a charming smile.

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About Tasha
Tasha is a student at an Illinois institution of higher education. She loves wine and her puppy, Opie. The list of things she hates is too long to include here, but topping the list would be guys with no game and people who do stupid things. If you fall into the just mentioned categories, you will most likely be wrote about.

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